Experts Relationships Tim Ferriss

Tim Ferriss · 33 episodes · 575 sourced insights

What Tim Ferriss says about relationships

Everything Tim Ferriss and guests said about relationships across 33 episodes — each point linked to the exact second on YouTube. Sourced expert opinion, not medical advice.

In their own words

Glenn has been legally deaf since age 10 from scarlet fever; an audiologist later told him he had been reading lips for at least 40 years without realizing it.
00:38:53Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
After Urban Cowboy, Glenn essentially never had to audition again, and he turned down lead TV roles to stay in Idaho and focus purely on the craft of acting rather than show-business politics.
00:30:29Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
On The Leftovers, director Mimi Leader said his seven-page monologue take was 'a master's class in acting'; Glenn was so fully inside the role he couldn't even direct or watch himself.
01:05:35Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn's core acting breakthrough is complete spontaneity: being so present in the now that you have no future or plans in a scene, which he says gives film performances their electricity.
01:11:18Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
At 85, Glenn does breath-hold meditations three times a week, currently holding for 1:40 with a personal record of 4 minutes 15 seconds, aiming for a two-minute hold by age 86.
01:33:54Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn met his wife Carol in a New York movie theater roughly 55 years ago; they sat through the entire film twice without touching, and he knew immediately he had fallen in love.
01:47:31Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Laurence Olivier told Glenn the single thing you need to make it in the business is pure tenacity: 'develop very strong jaw muscles, learn how to bite on and not let go.'
02:01:04Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Francis Ford Coppola gave Glenn a role at the end of Apocalypse Now because he believed Glenn had saved his life in the Philippines by keeping him from drowning in a river.
00:16:13Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Burt Lancaster commissioned a dinnerware set from Carol after learning the only other ceramic artist whose work he owned was Picasso.
00:21:29Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn's father, a Snap-on Tools executive who rose from poverty, hit him only once in his life, and advised him to never set deadlines on pursuing his dream.
00:50:19Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn converted to Judaism so his wife would not 'have a target on her back' that he didn't share; his Jewish name is Abraham Ephraim Ben Abraham.
00:51:22Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn was certified in scuba diving by Jim Stewart, the legendary Scripps Institution dive master who wrote the syllabus for the Navy SEAL teams.
01:39:10Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Rudolf Nureyev told Glenn he was a more believable cowboy than John Travolta, and corrected Glenn that he was Tatar, not Russian.
01:54:16Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
Glenn's morning routine includes a strong ear massage learned in a Tai Chi seminar and humming eight times with back teeth together to stimulate the vagus nerve.
01:20:39Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
'Baby fit,' which Glenn does each morning, is a movement practice he says Russian special ops use, rolling over using legs then arms the way a baby would.
01:23:55Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
His workout includes five rounds totaling 100 kettlebell swings and 100 push-ups, using 16-24 kg bells after retiring his 52 lb bell due to a muscle injury.
01:25:31Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
While filming in Thailand, Glenn crossed illegally into Burma at Three Pagodas Pass in the Golden Triangle and trained Muay Thai with fighters there.
01:44:55Scott Glenn · The Tim Ferriss Show · Apr 2024
At an ayahuasca retreat in Peru, shamans 'fired' Maté from his own retreat, saying his dark, dense energy was so heavy it interfered with their chants for everyone else.
00:11:53Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
The shamans intuited that Maté had experienced a 'big scare' when very small and assigned one healer to work with him alone over five private ceremonies.
00:12:25Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Maté recounts going into a rage over a minor text from his wife at the airport, tracing it directly to being given away by his mother as a one-year-old infant.
00:24:50Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Maté publicly acknowledges he was sexually abused as a child, explaining how suppressing the resulting rage became a survival mechanism.
00:30:30Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Maté argues no one has ever discovered a gene or group of genes that causes any mental health condition; what is inherited is sensitivity, not disease.
00:44:30Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Describing prison enneagram work with men who have killed, Maté says these 'killers' are among the loveliest people, deeply traumatized sensitive kids nobody ever paid attention to.
01:09:33Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
In a live exercise, Maté helps Tim surface his authentic calling, which Tim names as 'animal communication' and 'pure knowing.'
01:24:38Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Maté's works have been published internationally in nearly 30 languages.
00:01:32Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
The Myth of Normal took about 10 years of research and a year longer to write than Maté expected.
00:02:34Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
At the Peru retreat there were 24 participants, all health professionals (doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists).
00:11:22Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp identified mammalian brain systems including CARE, GRIEF/PANIC, FEAR, LUST, SEEKING, PLAY, and RAGE.
00:28:27Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Maté cites Buddhist teacher Tara Brach's RAIN method: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture.
00:33:38Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Loneliness has doubled in the last 30 years; Britain appointed a Minister of Loneliness, and loneliness is reportedly as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
00:55:33Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
In Canada, Indigenous people are 5% of the population but 30% of the jail population, and Indigenous women are 50% of the female jail population.
01:03:46Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Olympian Clara Hughes, the first to win medals at both Summer and Winter Olympics, walks roughly from northern Canada to Mexico for six months each year to reconnect with herself.
00:57:36Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
While writing the book, Maté experienced panic and saw a therapist weekly for several months mid-project.
01:20:31Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
A documentary about Maté's work, The Wisdom of Trauma, features Fritzi Horstman doing trauma work with high-level offenders in a prison yard.
00:58:07Dr. Gabor Maté · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2022
Dethmer reveals he was sub-clinically depressed much of his life, driven by a literal ache in his chest and chronic loneliness that fueled his lifelong search for peace and authentic relationship.
00:08:21Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He introduces the four states of consciousness model (to me / by me / through me / as me), borrowed from Michael Beckwith, as a framework for how we relate to the content of life.
01:36:39Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer recounts his 'descent to the ashes': entering a relationship with Debbie while still married, ending his marriage, moving into his office with no money, and being publicly disavowed by his church.
01:54:36Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
A front-page Chicago newspaper article announced the church disavowing him as a former minister, exposing his affair and his men's-work to the entire community.
01:56:11Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He reframes accountability as 'radical responsibility,' arguing all blame (of others, self, or systems) keeps us in a low-learning, contracted state rooted in needing to be right.
01:01:43Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He distinguishes codependent relationships (taking responsibility for each other's happiness) from co-committed ones (each responsible for their own), the foundation of his marriage with Debbie.
01:13:50Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer defines conscious candor as differentiating fact (what a video camera could record) from story (judgments and interpretations) and revealing stories lightly to be known, not to be right.
01:25:29Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He admits that inside his version of Christianity he found people 'more interested in being good than in being free, and in being big than in being loving,' which drove him to quit.
02:14:10Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer says he is drawn to teachers who make a 'big claim' that seems too good to be true, like Byron Katie's assertion that suffering is optional.
00:13:33Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Byron Katie's entire method ('The Work') boils down to four questions and a couple of turnarounds, simple enough to write on a 3x5 card.
00:15:39Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Gay Hendricks claimed it had been roughly 15 years since he and Katie had a drama-based fight, having removed blame and criticism from their relationship.
00:30:29Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Gay Hendricks' '4x4 breath' is a four-second inhale and four-second exhale into the belly, used to shift blood and brain chemistry out of an activated state.
00:32:37Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer teaches five core feelings (sad, angry, scared, joy, sexual/creative) and says you must be emotionally literate before you can be emotionally intelligent.
00:39:27Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He estimates most people are 'below the line' (reactive, threatened) 80 to 90 percent of the time, due to the natural human tendency to scan for threat.
00:55:54Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Drawing on Hale Dwoskin and the Sedona Method, he identifies three core wants behind reactivity: approval, control, and security (plus oneness).
00:56:26Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
He cites Scott Peck's model of moving from 'pseudo-community' through the 'tunnel of chaos' to authentic community, from 'The Road Less Traveled' and 'The Different Drum.'
02:03:34Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer's 'integrity inventory' checks four pillars (from Gay and Katie Hendricks): unsaids, unkept agreements, unowned blame, and unfelt feelings, treating integrity as energetic wholeness rather than morality.
02:07:47Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Dethmer was a minister of one of the largest churches in the United States, speaking to thousands of people a week before he quit at 43.
02:11:01Jim Dethmer · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2020
Roberts reads from his eulogy for his father, who 'chose us' over a literary career, and argues that 'quality time demanded quantity time' - you cannot just turn on meaningful connection on demand.
00:02:03Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts explains 'scientism' - things that look scientific and fool people into thinking they understand something they don't - and why economists can't predict crashes or interest rates the way astronomers predict planetary positions.
00:11:24Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Darwin at 29 made a literal handwritten pro-con list about marriage where the negatives outnumbered the positives (a key plus being 'female chit-chat... better than a dog'), then married anyway and wrote 'QED.'
00:28:02Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts describes the 37% rule from the Penelope/secretary problem for choosing a partner, then argues 'best' isn't even well-defined because life is a matrix of attributes with no single score to maximize.
00:33:09Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts argues Bill Belichick (an economics major) trades down in the NFL draft to increase his denominator - getting more picks because he can't predict which players succeed, like index investing or venture capital.
00:52:47Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts explains he moved to Israel to lead Shalem College not mainly for fun but because its mission - cultivating the well-lived life through great texts - answered a sense of 'is this what I'm called to do.'
00:58:01Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts shares he's writing a book on prayer 'for people who struggle with prayer' and describes transcendence via vivid stars on the California coast, redwood Shakespeare, and encounters with people under duress.
01:32:48Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts turns the interview around to ask Tim how he keeps his ego in check; Tim credits perfectionism, the maxim 'you're never as good or as bad as they say,' and friends like Matt Mullenweg who stress-test his views.
01:39:32Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts's two rap videos on the ideas of Keynes and Hayek, made with filmmaker John Papola, have more than 13 million YouTube views.
00:01:00Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
EconTalk launched in 2006 and has more than 800 weekly episodes; past guests include Christopher Hitchens, Martha Nussbaum, Michael Lewis, Angela Duckworth, and Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
00:00:30Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
At the University of Chicago, a corrupted Lord Kelvin quote was carved in stone: 'if it cannot be measured your knowledge is meagre and unsatisfactory.'
00:24:54Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts has been married 33 years and has four children spread across London, California, Maryland, and Australia.
00:07:45Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Hayek won the Nobel Prize in 1974; his acceptance speech 'The Pretence of Knowledge' uses a football game analogy for the limits of prediction.
00:14:33Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts lives by the Talmud line: 'It is not up to you to finish the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.'
01:27:04Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts estimates that reading a book a week for 50 years yields only about 2,500 books in a lifetime, out of at least 100,000 available - so choose carefully.
01:29:10Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Roberts keeps the Jewish Sabbath, which rules out Friday-night plans like a Paul McCartney concert; he was not religious for much of his life and previously ate lobster and pork.
01:33:49Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
From Taleb's 'skin in the game,' Roberts learned that even oblivious imprudent risk-takers get weeded out - as long as you don't bail out losers.
01:25:29Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
In venture capital, the hoped-for ratio is roughly one unicorn (a billion-dollar company) per ten investments, and you can't know in advance which one.
00:55:25Russ Roberts · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2022
Brene Brown reframes narcissism as the most shame-based of all personality disorders, defining it as the fear of being ordinary rather than genuine self-love.
00:13:36Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Brown describes her marriage's 80/20 rule: she and her husband quantify their available energy out of 20 each and make a plan of kindness whenever the combined total falls below 100.
00:23:54Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp recounts wandering into blackjack after a 1958 Las Vegas trip, then using MIT's IBM 704 computer to mathematically devise a card-counting system to beat the game.
00:31:40Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp reveals that he and Claude Shannon built the first wearable computer in Shannon's basement to predict roulette outcomes, achieving a 44% edge.
00:40:34Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp's hedge fund ran ~20 years with only three down months (each under 1%) and just under 20% annualized returns, and he met Warren Buffett who he predicted would become the richest man in the world.
00:54:10Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp details how in 1991 he analyzed McKinsey's mysterious investment, found half the trades never occurred, and concluded Bernie Madoff was running a fraud 17 years before it collapsed.
01:17:23Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp explains his philosophy of 'enough,' choosing to wind down his fund when it stopped being fun, illustrated by the Joseph Heller / Kurt Vonnegut story.
01:43:08Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Brown distinguishes kid-focused, parent-focused, and family-focused families, describing her household as family-focused with limits like two extracurriculars per child.
00:27:29Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp's blackjack abstract was initially rejected by the American Mathematical Society as 'just another fool with a system' before a colleague vouched for him.
00:35:20Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Author Tom Wolfe, then a young reporter, wrote an AP piece on Thorp's blackjack system that gave it nationwide press.
00:36:23Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp, 89 at recording, says he was in his best shape between ages 55 and 65 and still walks three miles several times a week.
00:43:42Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
When the Chicago Board Options Exchange opened in 1973, Thorp says the only people on the floor were his traders, calling it 'machine guns against bows and arrows.'
00:57:47Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Berkshire Hathaway shares worth about $12 in 1964 were just under $500,000 at the time of recording.
01:00:52Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp outlines his 4% rule for retirement spending and a 2% rule that allows capital to grow in perpetuity, advice he gave to a cryogenic freezing organization's endowment.
01:13:15Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp learned about CO2 and global warming at age 14 in 1946 by studying 19th-century Swedish chemist Svante Arrhenius.
01:27:51Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Thorp cites Jim Simons of Renaissance as having probably the best risk-adjusted record in the world, and says he was investor number one in Ken Griffin's Citadel.
01:39:28Brene Brown and Edward O. Thorp · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2024
Brad Jacobs is, in Senra's view, the only person in history to start eight separate billion-dollar companies, and he does it 'out of love' with no negativity, unlike most extreme winners driven by dark father issues or insecurity.
00:00:31David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra's core maxim: 'learning is not memorizing information, learning is changing your behavior' — if you didn't change behavior, it was just mental gymnastics.
00:10:52David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra's original business model was a paywalled subscription podcast (aiming for 3,000 subscribers at $100 to make 'dentist money'); a single Patrick O'Shaughnessy tweet endorsing the Estée Lauder episode flooded him with high-profile paid subscribers.
00:43:54David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra refused to sell Patrick O'Shaughnessy equity in Founders, instead striking a one-call ad-revenue-sharing deal to join the Colossus network four years ago, which changed everything.
00:48:31David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra's 'anti-business billionaire' archetype (Jobs, Dyson, Yvon Chouinard, Larry Ellison): obsessed only with product quality and retaining control, and they end up with the money anyway.
01:08:12David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Spending three hours inside Charlie Munger's home library before he died, Senra found Munger could recall the revenue, partners, and mistakes of obscure companies like Henry Kaiser's from books read 15 years earlier — with no notes in any of them.
01:42:14David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Eddie Lampert taught Senra the best question isn't 'smartest person' but 'best dealmaker' — citing Richard Rainwater, who was so valuable that people gave him equity for free: 'all returns, no capital.'
01:44:48David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Daniel Ek described Senra as 'an LLM trained on history's greatest entrepreneurs with the temperature turned up,' and pushed him to start doing video after eight audio-only years.
02:00:45David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Brad Jacobs' first acquisition was roughly a $9 billion deal, and he progressively does bigger and bigger rollups in logistics, trucking, and building supplies.
00:01:01David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Warren Buffett said it's 'a crime that business schools don't study Henry Singleton,' and Charlie Munger called Singleton the smartest person he ever met.
00:19:08David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Albert Lasker hid Claude Hopkins' book 'Scientific Advertising' in a safe for 20 years; Hopkins' Schlitz beer campaign took the brand from fifth to first by telling the story of its brewing process.
00:19:40David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra discovered Tim Ferriss when he saw 'The 4-Hour Workweek' listed under favorite books on a girl's MySpace profile.
00:35:36David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra modeled Founders on Jocko Willink's early podcast format (first-person combat autobiographies), and 'no one gave a damn for five and a half years.'
00:36:07David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Edwin Land (founder of Polaroid) had the third-most patents of any American in history; Steve Jobs took his 'intersection of liberal arts and technology' line and even his presentation tables from Land.
00:55:46David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Senra argues sociopaths/psychopaths (estimated ~5% of the general population) are likely several times overrepresented among entrepreneurs because entrepreneurship yields the greatest material rewards.
01:24:11David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Sam Walton ran a single store in Newport, Arkansas for five years (growing from ~$25,000 to ~$250,000 in revenue); consolidated, the Walton family's Walmart equity would be worth roughly $432 billion today.
01:38:06David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Richard Rainwater had a hole knocked through a members-only hotel wall and a door installed so he could have direct access to protégé Eddie Lampert's room.
01:48:21David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Sam Zell told Senra the only true luxury in life is a private jet, that 'the things you own start to own you,' and that he rented everything except his Chicago place and Malibu compound, using his jet about three hours a day.
02:20:44David Senra · The Tim Ferriss Show · Sep 2025
Becky's controversial repair script tells a child 'it's never your fault when I yell,' arguing parents must own their own emotional regulation rather than blaming the child for it.
00:03:17Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
She defines a good parent as someone who treats parenting as self-growth, activates curiosity over judgment, and is equally boundaried and connected as a sturdy leader.
00:08:28Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
The pilot-in-turbulence metaphor illustrates three parenting styles, with the sturdy leader validating feelings while staying unshaken: 'what scares you does not scare me.'
00:23:00Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Her core boundary definition: boundaries are things you tell people you will do that require the other person to do nothing.
00:29:16Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
MGI (most generous interpretation) versus the default LGI (least generous interpretation) reframes a child's behavior to avoid the 'fast forward error' of catastrophizing about their future.
00:37:36Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
With deeply feeling kids in a 10-out-of-10 meltdown, 'their words are not their wishes, they're their fears' — a child screaming 'get out' is talking to terrifying sensations, not the parent.
01:33:11Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Becky argues there is essentially no such thing as maternal instinct; the belief that mothers should parent on instinct alone creates shame and a freeze response.
01:42:35Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
The tennis court visual: a parent must push another person's feelings back to their own side rather than absorbing them and mislabeling that absorption as guilt.
01:53:30Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Becky recommends Karen Pryor's dog-training book 'Don't Shoot the Dog,' noting most dog problems are actually owner problems — analogous to parenting.
00:33:57Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Her recommended books include conscious loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, Nonviolent Communication, and Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink.
00:44:51Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
She recommends Dick Schwartz's Internal Family Systems work (No Bad Parts), Eve Rodsky's Fair Play, and Cheryl Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things.
00:45:23Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Fair Play addresses the 'mental load' of being the default parent — the invisible work of remembering, planning, and organizing rather than just executing tasks.
00:45:55Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Becky's husband described her as a 'creative pessimist' and reframed planning as not pessimism but the ability to say 'I'll figure it out no matter what happens.'
01:07:47Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Becky got her PhD from Columbia, did a postdoc specializing in eating disorders with college and grad students, and had an eating disorder herself in high school.
01:08:21Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Her youngest son once pulled out two loose teeth in a single day to collect Tooth Fairy money to buy a baseball card.
01:23:52Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Sitting down (rather than standing) at the door during a child's meltdown shortened meltdowns by roughly 90% by signaling commitment and containment.
01:35:47Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Becky's ultimate mantra, which she taped to her kids' desks during COVID: 'This feels hard because it is hard, not because I'm doing something wrong.'
01:38:55Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Good Inside lives at goodinside.com, with a weekly Thursday email, an app, and Becky's own podcast called 'Good Inside.'
01:58:36Dr. Becky Kennedy · The Tim Ferriss Show · Dec 2024
Johnson describes a brain-scan study where distressed women's brains showed high alarm anticipating ankle shocks, but after EFT, when their partner held their hand, their brains stayed completely calm and the shock felt only 'uncomfortable' rather than extremely painful.
00:15:32Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
EFT works in 14 to 20 sessions and the results hold three years later in follow-up, with couples reporting more secure bonds, better sex, and less depression.
00:07:50Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
The core intervention is the 'hold me tight' conversation, where one person opens up and shares vulnerabilities, needs, and fears in a way that pulls the partner close and prompts them to respond.
00:20:09Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Johnson states a strong bias against sleep training, arguing the child doesn't learn self-reliance but instead numbs out and learns that no matter how it cries, nobody will come.
00:47:14Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
She explains research showing women can be physiologically aroused while reporting they are not, because the prefrontal cortex checks the safety of the relationship before allowing felt arousal.
01:36:07Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Citing Laumann's research, she says the people who have the best, most frequent, and most thrilling sex are those in safe long-term relationships, challenging the idea that passion has a 'best before' date.
01:39:45Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Attachment science shows that emotional isolation is toxic for human beings, who are wired for connection from the cradle to the grave.
00:28:31Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
EFT has demonstrated effectiveness in more than 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research, and Johnson's book 'Hold Me Tight' has sold more than one million copies.
00:05:17Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
The Heart Institute in Ottawa engaged Johnson because cardiologists found patients with good partner relationships are much less likely to have another heart attack.
00:08:20Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Tim Ferriss lived in Argentina from 2004 to 2005 and attended milonga (tango) five or six times a week.
00:09:21Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
EFT research uses validated scales including the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, the Beck Depression scale, and the Experiences in Close Relationships scale for adult attachment.
00:14:31Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
In the brain scan, the neuroscientist explained the calm 'blue' brain after therapy simply meant the women were resting, joking 'It means they're not dead, Sue.'
00:18:36Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Johnson cites Winston Churchill, who had a deprived childhood, as someone who built a secure adult bond with his wife and would sit outside her bedroom door asking 'Are you mad at your Winnie?'
01:14:52Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
She recommends 'The Last Lion' by William Manchester, a three-volume Churchill biography, and Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey's 'What Happened to You.'
01:16:57Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
In Buenos Aires tango historically began with men dancing with other men, and skilled female dancers often dance with their eyes closed, reading cues with partners they may have just met.
01:26:48Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
The Hold Me Tight Online program took about four years to build and is being used by the U.S. and Canadian militaries, with the government of British Columbia buying programs for first responders.
01:49:34Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Johnson reveals her motivation came from childhood: her parents loved each other but fought continually, and the failure of that marriage destroyed her adored father even though the Second World War had not.
01:54:17Dr. Sue Johnson · The Tim Ferriss Show · Aug 2021
Real explains why RLT therapists deliberately take sides rather than play the neutral mirror, calling the standard 'all problems are 50/50' doctrine nonsense: some problems are 99-to-1.
00:11:35Terry Real · The Tim Ferriss Show · May 2025

What Tim Ferriss recommends for relationships

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